The atmosphere was cozy as I stepped into the event last night, with soft lighting and modest outerwear all around. A glass of beer rested in my hand as I mingled with colleagues, engaging in typical corporate discussions.
Amidst the usual corporate banter, someone casually dropped the news about Trudeau’s resignation, and we all nodded as if we were in a political think tank rather than a party. Just then, the announcement for the cultural show interrupted our serious conversations. A moment later, one of my colleagues stood up, saying he needed to leave for a personal engagement. I raised an eyebrow, “Wait, what? You’re leaving the show for… what? A date with Netflix?” I shouted after him.
With a charming smile that could’ve made him a toothpaste model, he said, “I have music at home… regular stuff.” In my mind, I pictured his girlfriend doing laundry while he strummed a guitar like a rock star—truly a romantic scene.
Instantly, It sparked an idea in my head for an article exploring the dynamics of relationships where one partner is a musician and the other is not. What kind of chemistry exists in these unique pairings?
And here’s the kicker—I also play guitar and date someone who is intensely, almost comically, not a musician. Why “intensely”? Trust me; that story is a riot for later!
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She is not a Musician, but She Loves Music
This is often the foundation for relationships between musicians and non-musicians. Even if someone isn’t actively involved in music, a deep appreciation for it can create a strong bond. I asked these couples about their reactions during practice sessions—whether it was me strumming my guitar or other practicing vocals in a corner of the house. How does the other person respond? This is where the true dynamics unfold.
She never gets irritated by me jamming in the corner, which is a miracle because honestly, I sometimes feel like a one-man band without a clue. There was that one time, though, when I was half-listening (read: mentally composing a new song) and she called me out, “Can you please pay attention to what I’m saying instead of playing the ‘tung tung’?” I chuckled—totally my fault, but also, let’s be real. She was discussing her favorite TV show again, and I already knew how it ended! The distraction could’ve been anything; an ant on the wall or a particularly interesting cloud outside. So really, I’m lucky to have her support—she tolerates my musical tangents like a champ!
I don’t understand Music, it’s His Happy Business, I Rather Prepare Class Lessons
Not everyone is a participant in another’s musical life! Not melodically at least! Since there was one couple that provided a surprisingly thoughtful perspective. The wife, a Geography professor, smiled modestly as she described her husband’s musical life. “Honestly, I’m neither bothered nor fascinated,” she said with a laugh. “I’m usually buried in my lesson plans, and as long as he’s happy with his music, that’s all that matters.”
But the best conversation I had was with a vocalist and her partner. He shared, “Sometimes I’ll sing something from the classics, and she surprises me with how well she recalls the lyrics! I’m over here trying to hit the right notes, and she’s flawlessly reciting the lyrics like she’s auditioning for a Broadway show. To be honest, it’s one of the most attractive things about her! Sometimes I feel like I’m the singer, but she’s the real passionate one—all because of how deeply she connects with the songs’ meanings!”
Riot for Later is Now Here
And now, as I was saying, let me take you all on a little detour—a glimpse into my journey with my intensely not-a-musician man! After sharing the major findings from my not-so-scientific survey, I realized my experiences are like a mixed tape, blending all the charming quirks of the couples I encountered.
I wonder, How terribly a soul like me has fallen in love with such a person! But yet, thank God! He stares at me like a baby when I sing or tune my guitar like an expert which I’m actually not! Yet, the hilarity reaches new heights when he attempts to sing. I mean, bless his heart, but what comes out is more like a series of perplexing noises than an actual song.
Take, for instance, when the lyrics are, “Sugar, yes please, won’t you come and put it down on me.” What comes out of his mouth is, “Come I’m putting down on me.” Or when the lyrics are, “’Cause you’re a sky, ’cause you’re a sky full of stars, I’m gonna give you my heart,” it turns into “nan na na sky, nan na na sky, full of starts, nan na na nah.”
Sometimes he joins in with me, with profoundly wrong lyrics and perfectly distuned vocals… I increase the volume of my own and give the drive to take the lead with an emergence right away! I gotta save my song after all!
Everything’s usually fine until I attempt to correct him. But the best part? He doesn’t care one bit! He’s in his own happy bubble, living his best life singing like he’s the world’s most charmingly untalented pop star. I eventually realized that it was better to let him be adorably clueless rather than stifle his enthusiasm. After all, a wildly messy musical moment is way more fun than nitpicking over the rules of melody!
And let’s be honest—I’ve left it there! Let him be cutest with his terrible yet pure music love! After all, a logically dumb like me won’t be ever able to work with chemicals at a lab like him! After all, I’m the only one here to judge and score him high! High for him being happily odd!
Prepare for Your Next Nonmusician Date on Valentine
How would it be, if you didn’t choose to marry or date a person who was a musician, whether a vocalist or instrumentalist? From 0 to hero skills? Well, I’ve never actually heard of it! Have you ever?
Instead, all the obstacles that happen between musicians and nonmusicians love bonding, there never remains anything empty in between. Because it’s always the Music that takes place and breaks the silence! And like the very visible news feed saying,” If we ever stop talking, send me a song”.
Yes! I believe in such absolute power of Music, which never leaves you alone! Either you are single or whatever! So, what are you planning this Valentine’s Day with your nonmusician date?
Gratitude Spotlight: A Special Thanks to Our Guest!
This article is written by Promiti Karmaker, a gifted music teacher, singer-songwriter, voice artist, and storyteller. She is an enlisted singer and voice artist on a national TV channel.